Stoned

In this cold starry night, I'm feeling forlorn

Hearing my weathered heart apparently torn

Where one cannot believe a word I mutter

Maybe wanting to lose myself for the better

I momentarily contemplate for this yearning

Knowing that I need not to prove anything

I'm so into this soul wrecking sensation

Accidentally planted like a pumping pain station

No one tried to desiccate my flowing tears

Wishing for some care that could solidly pierce

11/11/2009 1200

No Title

My soul is searching for your presence as I wait for you to cut off your hibernation. Fortunate not to see that other side of you but given proper indicated precautions. I sometimes notice sudden changes but I don't have the courage to ask.

Deep within I feel your delicate and bleeding contents, silence does not baffle me. My heart froze in pain but it won't stop beating. I'm fidgeting inside out. I don't even want to think of any reasons, all I wanted is to help you hunch better.

I know I always hurt you with my numbskull even if you don't say so. What pains you certainly pains me too, hearing self-accusations of worthlessness hurts. I realized that I can't just slip away as I walk past briskly.

Inevitable pang rushing all throughout my veins, it clogged and overpowered me. No matter how much tear I shed, it will never be enough to mend what I broke. Your choice, the consequences I don't know. I'm sorry.......

11/08/2009 0030

Time

I'm settling in a dreamland where everything is impossible, wanting to get enough of the few hours we spent together. In a speed of light, you're literally gone without me knowing when will you be back. You don't consider my feelings and I'm being out of scope. The last in your chick list I bet.

I just have to accept the fact that I'm your no one. Whatever I do, I will not own your heart. You know you're wanted so bad, I tried my very best to forget you and live my life in your absence. I asked but I don't get a response, you always leave me fragmented longing for that love. I don't want to be freed from your embrace as much as I can.

You broke your promise yet you denied, I can clearly see how inconsistent you are. You are still the same, nothing changed and things didn't got better as you reiterate it so as the stupid me to believe. I had so much pain to conquer hoping that my arduousity would take effect soon.

10/30/2009 1140
10/29/2009 2300-0030

You

Our congenial company is solitary.

It's an exceptional knack finding you.
We shared resembling substances in term.
No reality checks to discover our legitimacy.
I gratify myself from that delightful solicitude.
Everytime you're hidden my heart feels so wary.
Losing you will probably rend my essence.
I can't even show my considerable appreciation.
Now I'm down in dumps awaken by a bad dream.
Hoping that farewell will be soon enough.
10/28/2009 0130

Serenity

I want to be lost in a field of tranquility

Uncover happiness in your sterling branch

Gazing upon bundled diversifications

Seeking cure for my perplexed composure

Be living in a rough reality

To broaden the circuit verge I'm keeping

Make an implications of rational judgment

For the survival of worthy existence

10/25/2009 1530

Tunnel of Hope

Molested, abused and misused.

Harsh society need not to choose.

Gobbled whole at an abandoned quicksand.

Held bottomless by a black hand.

An innocent victim crying alone in agony.

Clanged between a doleful symphony.

Esoteric sweet lady gone blue.

No one has a clue.

Painful events appear unabatable.

Living seems to be impossible.

Rails of hope almost reach its terminal.

Life is still bidirectional.

10/23/2009 1500

Tormented

Loving limits my horizon to see the repercussions of my action. Start right the first time as everyone says, a mistake will always be a mistake. You can never correct an irreversible damage once done.

Surely I can have a good control as my brain is smarter than my heart. I locked it with him, but he wounded it. Emotions i felt held me back from what my life should be. I pushed myself away and stayed again for worst.

If you can only feel how arduous and broken I am detaining myself in your arms just to live in every false hope you disclosed. I can't blame myself for mistrusting you, what you threw does not equate with each other. I can't even feel your words and sincerity, you always fool me with that silver tongue of yours. My heart bleeds in quandary for what I am in your life is a big bone of contention.

10/23/2009 1300