Stoned

In this cold starry night, I'm feeling forlorn

Hearing my weathered heart apparently torn

Where one cannot believe a word I mutter

Maybe wanting to lose myself for the better

I momentarily contemplate for this yearning

Knowing that I need not to prove anything

I'm so into this soul wrecking sensation

Accidentally planted like a pumping pain station

No one tried to desiccate my flowing tears

Wishing for some care that could solidly pierce

11/11/2009 1200

No Title

My soul is searching for your presence as I wait for you to cut off your hibernation. Fortunate not to see that other side of you but given proper indicated precautions. I sometimes notice sudden changes but I don't have the courage to ask.

Deep within I feel your delicate and bleeding contents, silence does not baffle me. My heart froze in pain but it won't stop beating. I'm fidgeting inside out. I don't even want to think of any reasons, all I wanted is to help you hunch better.

I know I always hurt you with my numbskull even if you don't say so. What pains you certainly pains me too, hearing self-accusations of worthlessness hurts. I realized that I can't just slip away as I walk past briskly.

Inevitable pang rushing all throughout my veins, it clogged and overpowered me. No matter how much tear I shed, it will never be enough to mend what I broke. Your choice, the consequences I don't know. I'm sorry.......

11/08/2009 0030