Time

I'm settling in a dreamland where everything is impossible, wanting to get enough of the few hours we spent together. In a speed of light, you're literally gone without me knowing when will you be back. You don't consider my feelings and I'm being out of scope. The last in your chick list I bet.

I just have to accept the fact that I'm your no one. Whatever I do, I will not own your heart. You know you're wanted so bad, I tried my very best to forget you and live my life in your absence. I asked but I don't get a response, you always leave me fragmented longing for that love. I don't want to be freed from your embrace as much as I can.

You broke your promise yet you denied, I can clearly see how inconsistent you are. You are still the same, nothing changed and things didn't got better as you reiterate it so as the stupid me to believe. I had so much pain to conquer hoping that my arduousity would take effect soon.

10/30/2009 1140
10/29/2009 2300-0030

You

Our congenial company is solitary.

It's an exceptional knack finding you.
We shared resembling substances in term.
No reality checks to discover our legitimacy.
I gratify myself from that delightful solicitude.
Everytime you're hidden my heart feels so wary.
Losing you will probably rend my essence.
I can't even show my considerable appreciation.
Now I'm down in dumps awaken by a bad dream.
Hoping that farewell will be soon enough.
10/28/2009 0130

Serenity

I want to be lost in a field of tranquility

Uncover happiness in your sterling branch

Gazing upon bundled diversifications

Seeking cure for my perplexed composure

Be living in a rough reality

To broaden the circuit verge I'm keeping

Make an implications of rational judgment

For the survival of worthy existence

10/25/2009 1530

Tunnel of Hope

Molested, abused and misused.

Harsh society need not to choose.

Gobbled whole at an abandoned quicksand.

Held bottomless by a black hand.

An innocent victim crying alone in agony.

Clanged between a doleful symphony.

Esoteric sweet lady gone blue.

No one has a clue.

Painful events appear unabatable.

Living seems to be impossible.

Rails of hope almost reach its terminal.

Life is still bidirectional.

10/23/2009 1500

Tormented

Loving limits my horizon to see the repercussions of my action. Start right the first time as everyone says, a mistake will always be a mistake. You can never correct an irreversible damage once done.

Surely I can have a good control as my brain is smarter than my heart. I locked it with him, but he wounded it. Emotions i felt held me back from what my life should be. I pushed myself away and stayed again for worst.

If you can only feel how arduous and broken I am detaining myself in your arms just to live in every false hope you disclosed. I can't blame myself for mistrusting you, what you threw does not equate with each other. I can't even feel your words and sincerity, you always fool me with that silver tongue of yours. My heart bleeds in quandary for what I am in your life is a big bone of contention.

10/23/2009 1300

Recycled Emotions

Countless painful events I buried in disappearance kept on haunting the breakable me. Its a ghost on my supposed to be "better days" allowing me to recognize how I deniably mislaid my true feelings.

A man of integrity need not fear the truth. His make believe stints forges me to be gullible. Does hurting and dehumanizing me makes him a better man? I know that my affinity for this guy is futile, still I stick to imbecility.

Cupid casted a love spell for me to impel on this skit with a wrong person. I was so corrupted by his unconventional trap. Option me is present but he declined. Up until now I'm indisposed, why can't he do the same for me? Why am I treated so bad? What's the real deal between us? So many questions banging inside my head.

Yes, I'm blissful in his banal company even if arrows of deception are directly hitting me. If only I could stop the time and stay with him as long as I can. Now that we caught up with our loss space, my premonition for the next events kept on knocking. A juncture where he will be nil for a long time, it shows that he is not investing anything for me. I really hate it and it breaks me into pieces.

Reused but never reduced, my heart is ravaged with irrationally self inflicted grief..because it is just me, an aspect with no worth for him deviously sailing with my blameless choice for the third time.

10/17/2009 2350

Treasure for Keeps

Not even an ideal relationship may be balanced but ours has no restrictions and limits. It's the real us that we show without expectations from each other, time and space distance has never been a problem for us.

You came into my life with no apparent reason, and blossomed like a divine act. If I will be clouded by the darkest moments and fail, I will still be standing on my feet with this hope you integrated beneath me. When I'm alone and scared, you gave me the most comfortable spot to repose.

I'm sorry if I had hurt you unintentionally in any way, you can always tell me and talk things out rather than hiding your feelings until they spew out when it can no longer be contained. It's not easy for me to recognize my blemishes by looking at the mirror. What pains you, pains me too.

You asked me before, but rolling the years back won't guarantee me finding you. I don't want to explore the past stumbling myself in dissapoinment without you. There is no one in my knowing who understands me like you do, when I'm with you my soul is always at ease. I'm so delighted that I found you.

I just can't find a way to tell how much you mean to me, I can't even thank you enough. I want you to know that you will always have this special place in my heart no matter what.

10/11/2009 0100

From a Distance

Lost in nowhere the world looks blue,

what place you're in, no one has a clue.

Mountains can hear the sound of an echo,

soaring in the air like a flying gecko.

Conveying a vague hope,

suggests an opportunity to cope.

While procuring enough,

does not mould a marshmallow fluff.

In the presence of harmonious hand,

erupts an intermediary that was never planned.

Miles away beamed a bright light,

affirming everything will be alright.

Halting with once was stranger clasped safety,

that recaptures being worry free.

Rescued in a place where there is no sunshine,

is certainly an oblivious sign.

An angel in disguise who saved,

possesses virtuosity dissimilar to an old knave.

10/01/2009 1915