Countless painful events I buried in disappearance kept on haunting the breakable me. Its a ghost on my supposed to be "better days" allowing me to recognize how I deniably mislaid my true feelings.
A man of integrity need not fear the truth. His make believe stints forges me to be gullible. Does hurting and dehumanizing me makes him a better man? I know that my affinity for this guy is futile, still I stick to imbecility.
Cupid casted a love spell for me to impel on this skit with a wrong person. I was so corrupted by his unconventional trap. Option me is present but he declined. Up until now I'm indisposed, why can't he do the same for me? Why am I treated so bad? What's the real deal between us? So many questions banging inside my head.
Yes, I'm blissful in his banal company even if arrows of deception are directly hitting me. If only I could stop the time and stay with him as long as I can. Now that we caught up with our loss space, my premonition for the next events kept on knocking. A juncture where he will be nil for a long time, it shows that he is not investing anything for me. I really hate it and it breaks me into pieces.
Reused but never reduced, my heart is ravaged with irrationally self inflicted grief..because it is just me, an aspect with no worth for him deviously sailing with my blameless choice for the third time.
10/17/2009 2350
it hurts to see how someone so amazing has love that is not returned.... what kind of a person could not see the rare treasure in front of him? Is he blind? Probably, for he knows not what he has and probably wouldn't feel its importance lost if it were taken away from him. Such insensitivity....
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